Andrew's bike saga

There is the debate as to exactly how old Andrew was in this story, but we do know it was after Matt was born and before Stephen. Making Andrew either 4 or 5 years old. Too young, I can assure you. And the events of this story AGED this mama a lot in just one day…

I have always said that Adam was my cerebral child, and Andrew my physical one. Oh, was that ever true. While all of my children learned to walk too early, Andrew learned to RUN on his 11th month birthday. He ran EVERYWHERE after that! And, let me insert, that after that day, he NEVER took another nap. He ran ALL day, everyday, and then WE ALL CRASHED about 8:00/8:30 at night.

Andrew ALWAYS had a mind of his own. It is that simple. I remember reading Dobson’s “The Strong-Willed Child” and going to my then Pastor, Rev BH McCoy declaring that Andrew wasn’t simply strong-willed… it was so much more than that. It was a single-minded will. He got his mind made up and that was that!!! Bro McCoy agreed whole-hearted with me, and admonished me to never, never try to break Andrew’s will, just keep guiding him to the Lord, because someday his dogged-ness, hard-headedness, single-mindedness, if you will, could pay off, and he’d be one incredible soul winner. Of course, this sounded so awesome, so easy, but let me assure you, Bro McCoy wasn't living with Andrew.

Andrew learned to ride a bike shortly after he turned two years old. My parents had purchased a little bike that was really small. It had hard rubber tires (not the inflatable kind) and no training wheels. Well, Andrew just got on it and away he went. He loved the freedom of riding. The only way to stop was to put your feet down to the ground. This method worked well, but was really hard on the shoes.

We had one of those old-fashioned neighborhoods that had sidewalks everywhere. And, the type of neighborhood where we knew everyone and the moms visited together while the children played. (Truly idyllic, I might add, for a family.) On this day, Adam was at school, and Andrew and I were outside playing, Andrew riding up and down the sidewalk. Matthew was inside, taking a nap. I told Andrew to stay right in front of the house while I slipped inside to check on the baby. Such a great neighborhood, that I even could leave the door open as I went inside.

Needless to say, I wasn’t gone a minute. However, when I came back outside, Andrew was nowhere to be found. I called and called, then hollered and hollered. Walked to the back yard, walked around the house. Started running around the house. Ran two houses down to the DuBose’s house – he wasn’t there. Marla, the DuBose mom, came down to watch Matt while I got in the car and rode around the block.

Panic had long since settled in. Perhaps panic isn’t the most descriptive word. Fear. Anxiety. Terror. Lots of good words to describe my gut feeling. I called Paul and asked him what to do. I was ready to call the police. We lived in an area with lots of winding streets. I went up and down them all over and over. Where to next? Paul said he would come home immediately.

But, before I was going to call the police, I called my mother to ask her to please come over and be with the baby while I dealt with all of the mess that was ensuing. I was hysterical by this point.

My mother had trouble understanding me on the phone. Then she said, “Do you want to speak to Andrew? He’s right here!”

Right there??? You have got to be kidding me!?!?! Yes, he was at Grandma’s. Grandma said that he was hot and sweaty from the ride, so he’s inside watching TV with PawPaw and was drinking some Slice.

Isn’t this just great! I’m having complete heart failure, and Andrew is sitting in the AC at Grandma’s drinking "polli-pop" with PawPaw.

WHO DO I KILL FIRST – ANDREW or MY MOTHER!!!

To get to my parents’ home, which was about 1½ miles from our house, one had to cross two rather busy streets. The side streets that you had to go down were narrow and did not have a “bike lane”. It was NOT the safest of bike rides.

My first question to my mother was something close to why in the name of God's green earth didn’t you call me when Andrew arrived at your house without me!?!?! Wasn’t this a bit strange!!!!! We went over to their house every day, but all of us, not just a kid…

She was all innocence, too. We had all ridden bikes to Grandma’s several times, and I had also let the boys ride “by themselves”, with me in the car behind them. So, she thought that I had followed him in the car and let him just come over by himself. You know, to have some fun with Grandma and PawPaw!!! Fun, fun, fun. Right.

This was before cell phones, and Paul didn’t know that Andrew was alright until he got home. Paul was almost shaking by this time. We got into the car and all went over to my parents to get Andrew. We were still so upset, but at the same time so glad to know that Andrew really was alright.

We got Andrew, got the bike, and came home. Paul and Andrew went to garage where Paul made a BIG display of parental authority by putting the little bike all the way into the rafters of the garage. He told Andrew that while we loved him very much, we were very upset with him just leaving the yard and riding off without permission. Did Andrew understand all of this? Did he KNOW how much trouble he was in, had he learned a lesson from this, and did he realize that it would be a very long time before he would get the bike down?

Andrew’s response: Yes daddy, he knew he was in real big trouble, he had learned his lesson, but it sure had been fun, and beside that: It was worth it!!!

Scary words for parents…

So, as a mother, looking at the last 8 weeks of her son’s life, as he joined the Navy and is now back home - I see some similarities. This time, you’re not in trouble. But we all now know that God "let" you go, let you do what you felt you wanted/needed to do, gave you just enough rope to go and not hang yourself, then He brought you back home.

However, I think God has “put up” your proverbial bike, and while the Navy maybe wasn’t fun, He wants to make sure that you learned what you needed to learn, and that most importantly you can say “it was worth it”.