I know everyone is waiting to hear the latest update on the Kathleen’s Weight Loss Program. Yeah, right! I really am not at all shy about talking about myself, but putting this issue up for “look-see” is hard for me.
People who know me, know I thrive on being the “center of attention”. Of course, I would - only girl in the family for 54 years now, and a baby of the family, too – what else could you expect. And yes, I THRIVE on praise. I have always felt sorry for Paul when it comes to this topic. I seem to require lots of “Great, dear” from my husband. It is always “do I look okay?”, “does my hair look okay?”, “did I do okay?”, “was the dinner good?”, etc. You get the picture. Lots of positive reinforcement has been needed for me. Thankfully, Paul hasn’t minded. Or at least he has never acted like he does – hm-m-m-m… I do have to admit that I have KNOWN for some time now, he just says “Yes, Dear”, or “Great, Dear”, and has NO CLUE what I have just said. Oh well, one can only expect so much, and one can only give so much...
But while I love the praise and attention, I hate phony, insincere attention. And I always question that, in an arena such as blogging, people will say things just to be saying them. Of course, that is MY OWN insecurity showing. But, whatever.
Poor Andrew knows that I blame him for me being fat. Surely no one expects me to accept the responsibility for this. HAHA! Yes, all of my life I have always had weight issues of some sort, first the "slightly chubby little baby-fat" kind of problem, then it was the 10/15 lbs overweight kind of problem. The it can be fixed with “I-won’t-eat-any-sweets-for-a-month-and-this-weight-will-be-gone” kind of problem. When I got pregnant with Adam, I was at my “proper” weight. For the entire 9 months, I was very strict with my diet, wanting to have the healthiest baby, and I gained 65 lbs. I was horrified! But, by the time I went for my 6-week check up, I had lost all of the weight except for 10 lbs.
I never lost that 10 lbs, but that’s not too bad. When I got pregnant with Andrew, I joined Weight Watchers for I knew they had a fabulous program for pregnant moms. Besides the fact I puked my guts up for the entire time, I gained 85 lbs. My "sweet" doctor always just shook his head and said obviously I was keeping something down. I DID NOT appreciate his humor.
Andrew was a 10 lb baby and by the time I went for my 6-week check up, I had NOT lost anything. This was not a good sign. Well, here I still am. Great!!! I still have those 85 lbs. Probably plus some, if the truth be really known. But who wants to admit it, ya know!!!
When one is as overweight as I am, it will take some kind of losing before anyone will truly notice. For example:
About 2 months ago, one of the “regulars” to my work came in and I was drinking one of my protein drinks. She asked about it, and I told her I was dieting. I told her “this was it”. I was going to finally lose this weight and keep it off. This little lady is about 85 years old and about the size of a toothpick. She was glad I was doing something.
People who know me, know I thrive on being the “center of attention”. Of course, I would - only girl in the family for 54 years now, and a baby of the family, too – what else could you expect. And yes, I THRIVE on praise. I have always felt sorry for Paul when it comes to this topic. I seem to require lots of “Great, dear” from my husband. It is always “do I look okay?”, “does my hair look okay?”, “did I do okay?”, “was the dinner good?”, etc. You get the picture. Lots of positive reinforcement has been needed for me. Thankfully, Paul hasn’t minded. Or at least he has never acted like he does – hm-m-m-m… I do have to admit that I have KNOWN for some time now, he just says “Yes, Dear”, or “Great, Dear”, and has NO CLUE what I have just said. Oh well, one can only expect so much, and one can only give so much...
But while I love the praise and attention, I hate phony, insincere attention. And I always question that, in an arena such as blogging, people will say things just to be saying them. Of course, that is MY OWN insecurity showing. But, whatever.
Poor Andrew knows that I blame him for me being fat. Surely no one expects me to accept the responsibility for this. HAHA! Yes, all of my life I have always had weight issues of some sort, first the "slightly chubby little baby-fat" kind of problem, then it was the 10/15 lbs overweight kind of problem. The it can be fixed with “I-won’t-eat-any-sweets-for-a-month-and-this-weight-will-be-gone” kind of problem. When I got pregnant with Adam, I was at my “proper” weight. For the entire 9 months, I was very strict with my diet, wanting to have the healthiest baby, and I gained 65 lbs. I was horrified! But, by the time I went for my 6-week check up, I had lost all of the weight except for 10 lbs.
I never lost that 10 lbs, but that’s not too bad. When I got pregnant with Andrew, I joined Weight Watchers for I knew they had a fabulous program for pregnant moms. Besides the fact I puked my guts up for the entire time, I gained 85 lbs. My "sweet" doctor always just shook his head and said obviously I was keeping something down. I DID NOT appreciate his humor.
Andrew was a 10 lb baby and by the time I went for my 6-week check up, I had NOT lost anything. This was not a good sign. Well, here I still am. Great!!! I still have those 85 lbs. Probably plus some, if the truth be really known. But who wants to admit it, ya know!!!
When one is as overweight as I am, it will take some kind of losing before anyone will truly notice. For example:
About 2 months ago, one of the “regulars” to my work came in and I was drinking one of my protein drinks. She asked about it, and I told her I was dieting. I told her “this was it”. I was going to finally lose this weight and keep it off. This little lady is about 85 years old and about the size of a toothpick. She was glad I was doing something.
About 3 weeks ago, she was in again, and asked if I was still dieting. Oh yes, I said, and I was so excited for on that day, I had “officially” lost 17 lbs. She looked right at my stomach and said, “I can’t tell. You’re still so big.”
Really made my day!
But, you know, while I can’t wait for someone to come up to me and say, “My goodness, Kathleen. How much weight have you lost? You’re looking so good!”, I know that day isn’t quite here. BUT IT IS COMING!!!!
Saturday, September 6th, was my 3-month anniversary with my eating program, Curves, and now my elliptical. (which I still haven’t even begun to master…) And, I am ecstatic to announce that I have lost … (drum roll please…)
22 pounds!!!
Glenda Martin is my hero (even though I truly am so jealous of her I can’t see straight, and feel like tripping her at church in her cute little clothes on her cute little self), but she also is my inspiration. She has lost over 90 lbs. I remind myself every time I see her that SHE DID IT, and so can I. She is a real life person, with real life situations in a real life world. She’s not a 20 year old with a 20 year old metabolism. Yes, she’s younger than I am, but that isn’t is. She made her mind up, and succeeded! She’s my hero, and while I don’t mean any offense at all to her, for she’s one awesome woman, I know if Glenda did it, so can I. I am so proud of her and I am so glad that I have her to look to in my journey.
So, off I go. And hopefully, off with more pounds. December will be 6 months. My goal is 50 lbs. It will be a struggle, but that’s okay, I’m ready!!
